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Some thoughts about DD

March 13th, 2008 at 06:56 pm

We have a daughter. She's sophomore in high school, and she is a good kid. Never missed a day of school, very personable, and works really hard. She doesn't know which university she wants to go, yet. But, I know it will not be a community college. While there is nothing wrong with earning lower division credit at a community college and transfer to UC or CSU (which I did), she says she is working too hard to settle for a community college. It is true. She spends most of her days studying, planning for student body activity, practicing instrument, or helping basket ball team stats.

Frustrating thing is, sometimes, what she wants to do and what she can do aren't the same thing. She wants to place herself in advance classes, but she is failing her math class. She is taking pre-cal/trig and seems that it is just way too much for her. She has been a B student in her Algebra and Geometry, so I was little concerned when she took pre-cal this year. I didn't think she had a strong enough foundation, but she was placed in pre-cal class since she passed Algebra II last year with a B. Well, she has been struggling as I predicted, and my husband is really upset about her bad grade.

I kind of feel sorry for her. When I did trig in my high school days, I didn't get it. And I didn't care, to be honest. I understand how frustrating it is to spend hours and hours studying and still get failing grade. I went to talk to her math teacher and she thinks our DD has an ability to pass. Well, then, why she keeps failing? I heard only three students in her class are passing. That doesn't sound right.

My DH may have a talk with the principle and find out what our options are. I'm not really concerned because she already has completed graduate requirement classes for math. But we just don't want her to damage her GPA. At this point, I don't know what to do with this issue. It's pretty frustrating.....

10 Responses to “Some thoughts about DD”

  1. gruntina Says:
    1205435240

    Being one who went straight to University after high school and then later return to school attending a college (backwards I know)....

    My honest option is that I am so glad I went straight to the University and not stated out at college! college felt like high school and it seems like the night courses had the more "mature" student. I didn’t feel like the environment at the college was serious learning or goal orientated so much. Dormitory taught me how to live on my own quicker. I never returned to living at home after the university because I have grown independently by then.

  2. Broken Arrow Says:
    1205436938

    I hope that you and your husband will not be TOO upset with her.... She is at least trying.

    I've never had too much trouble with Math but I've always struggled with English. I was only average there, but it wasn't from lack of effort. Still, it was a little tough because my parents were hoping for As, regardless of what it is.

    For teenagers, to be measured only by the difference of a single letter in the alphabet, that can be rather... heart-breaking. Especially when they're already trying and yet still not living up to standards.

    I hope that you will encourage her and perhaps even find a supportive tutor to help her with Math.

  3. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:
    1205437014

    I don't think a B Geometry and Algebra student "should be" failing pre-cal & trig. Only three students passing? I suspect the class needs a better teacher. Perhaps she could retake the class in summer or through tutoring, even if she does not get credit for it. If she is really a self-starter, she can learn it on her own during the summer, too. I hope she is determined not to let inadequate instruction defeat her in really learning the material and moving forward in her other studies. I would say most of the really accomplished high-schoolers around here just teach themselves, mostly, and ignore schools---sad to say.

  4. monkeymama Says:
    1205440648

    I guess I don't get what is wrong with working hard and going to community college. Admittedly, I Went straight to University, but I feel looking back it was a waste of money. If I had it to do over, I would have gone to community college 2 years and saved my money. I took some summer classes there and they were excellent.

    Likewise, I was working very hard and got into all the good schools. My friends teased me that I Was only going to the local State University. (My parents made too much money to qualify for aid, but they wouldn't help pay for anything beyond community college. They were wise though - I should have listened. I had no clue what I Wanted to do...). Wink I run into the same people from high school now and most of them are living at home (at 32 mind you) and persuing their real degrees at state and community college. They wasted all their money on expensive schools and have nothing to show for it. I find it to be quite a shame, though I giggle how I am 9 years into my career and they are still home with mommy and daddy. Teehee. Just remembering the comments about how I worked too hard to settle for state, when I Was 18... But I mean, these were the cream of the crop. One of my best friends works for Target with her pre-med degree, and a lot of them are just figuring out what they want to do. Well that's my gripe on that comment anyway. Big Grin The exception being if she really knows what she wants to do with the rest of her life, but that is just so rare.

    Likewise, from your description it sounds like maybe she is just doing too much... A tutor is a great suggestion though.

  5. merch Says:
    1205443949

    Have you thought of getting her a tutor for math?

    Grad students in math at a university might do it for some extra beer ... er ... I mean ... pizza money.

    I some what disagree with Monkeymama on college/university. Some industries require top degrees to even look at you. I have worked for firms that won't even look at you if you didn't graduate from a top 10 school and only actively recruit at top 5. A degree from Wharton, MIT, or Harvard is very valuable in certain fields. There is also a regional effect to. In Boston, Suffolk and Babson are very good schools but might not be known in California.

    I guess what I am saying is that some industries look to higher degrees from certain schools and different regions have there top schools. To choose a school, one almost needs to know the industry and region they will be working in.

    I also think that after you get out of the top 25, you lose the clout and networking of the school.

    Other industries might focus more on certifications then schooling but some industies definitely focus on schools.

    Just my thoughts.

  6. Maismom Says:
    1205447345

    Thank you guys for nice comments. As some of you suggested, we're considering to hire a tutor. We still want to talk to a counselor and find out what is the best option for her junior year.

    She is interested in international relationship. I think it's a good choice for DD. She is very good with people and remembers people's names and faces which I am TERRIBLE at. I call people with wrong names all the time, and it's so embarrassing.... I always tell her she can be a good politician. She is also interested in visiting other countries and open to other cultures. Well, she was born and raised in Asia for first 7 years of her life, and came to the U.S. So, she has already experienced living in two different cultural environment, and she seems to appreciate different point of views people have.

    So, having a strong math skill isn't really necessary for her areas of interest. It's not like she will be an engineer. That's another reason we wonder if there's a better way (or math class) for her to take during her high school years that will not negatively affect her GPA.

    Anyway, again, thank you for your comments. It really helps to hear other people's ideas and approaches.

    As for community college, I am FOR it!! 100%!! I graduated from community college with my A.S. and it was a great experience. But my DD has a different path in her mind, and I respect that. I guess it's cultural thing, but in my country, it is parents' duty to provide good education to their children, and I'd like to do my part as a parent.

  7. aevans1206 Says:
    1205453977

    I agree with monkeymama. There is nothing wrong with attending a community college before attending a university. It is economical and offers the student an opportunity to really explore and choose what she/he wants to do in life. I know so many who have dropped out of university life because they just weren't ready to handle it, or spent years deciding in what to major. I think the stigma of community colleges needs to be abandoned (that's not because my husband works for one, of course Smile )

    Maismom, I currently work at a high school and feel that too many high schools base their instruction on lecturing and don't pay enough attention to the learner's needs. One-on-one instruction may be the way to go here. The most important thing here is that your daughter feels. She also needs to understand that even if she does not end up doing well, she still gave it her best try. In high school, I always did well in honors math classes, in geometry and trig...then BAM! Hit a wall with pre-calc. Personally, I feel that I was not developmentally ready to handle it and that's from years of learning about teaching, brain development, blah blah blah. In fact, I'm not sure that I'm ready for pre-calc now. Laughing...

    Truly, I hope your daughter does well.

  8. monkeymama Says:
    1205499815

    I am not sure starting at community college precludes a top degree. ????? That's where you lost me. Big Grin
    I had problems editing yesterday but also wanted to say I also agreed - only 3 people passing the class sounds like a bigger issue. Ugh!! Poor thing.

  9. merch Says:
    1205500837

    I am not saying that starting at a community college precludes a top degree. But it is harder to transfer from a CC to a top degree then going into a top school from the start. A prep school would probably be better.

    Also, at some schools, there is a difference in going at night and during the day. The Harvard night time degree is looked as less valuable then the daytime degree.

    Maismom - I also feel the need to pay for my children's under graduate degree at a minimium. International relationships sounds like law school to me and the top graduate ones are NYU, Columbia, Georgetown, and Harvard.

  10. ktmarvels Says:
    1205544937

    Another thing to think about is if she is planning on getting a graduate degree, maybe start out at a state school for her undergrad degree and apply to the big name schools for grad school. Not only will going to a state school cost much less than the Ivy's, but they will definitely take students from community colleges. (The Ivy's may as well, but I don't have any experience with that). If she does well in undergrad, has extracurriculars, and is motivated, she should be able to get into a good grad school.

    Also, B's aren't the end of the world, you can still get into great schools with them!

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